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This post is in response to a question posed by a reader (BTW which I heartily encourage). I was very very happy to have Mother Mary respond. As many on Earth celebrate the Festival of the Virgen de Guadalupe, an aspect of the Divine Mother, it seems a perfect time to post her words. (I was given a beautiful poster years ago of the Virgen by one of my dearest spiritual mentors the funny and Reverend Christina Brannock-Wanter, and so Mother Mary’s image sits in my classroom, where I teach a course on integrating the Divine Feminine. She is wreathed in roses, which I have taken as my own symbol.) I hope you love her too. Here is the question and the answer.
(We celebrate a day of Thanksgiving, would it be helpful if we held a “Day of Forgiveness”?)
Hello, Dear Children. I have been told that you seek some clarification on forgiveness. Ritualized forgiveness is very limited but does remind you that forgiveness is possible. Forgiveness is a personal choice, not to be required of you. When an individual is willing to move beyond a deep and perhaps entrenched place of hurt and anger, when thy are ready and not before, then forgiveness can come forward as the act of love that it is.
To forgive (forget and give-over) is to forego, let go of blaming another for your wounds and own the power to always come from a place of healing, a place of wholeness, a source of love. Knowing your own connection to source love energy and its power of healing allows you to decide to offer this outwardly to any who harmed you– from a position of not knowing of their own power. Pain begets pain. Love can break that cycle, but it is a very personal choice. When one is spiritually able to face this step and can trust in the strength of the love that supports them in all moments, then they can open themselves enough to feel love instead of anger.
In almost all cases the hurt brought upon you was not intended as such by the one who initiated it. It was the outcome of their own suffering, and the outlet for long-suppressed self-violence. Understanding another’s pain may not enable you to feel safe enough to love them – only the remembering of your own true nature as love incarnate can do that.
Ritualized forgiveness such as the Day of Atonement [in Judaism] is helpful because the people are encouraged to practice re-instating oneself in alignment with source love. But it is best for those harboring a great hurt to practice on little hurts in a public setting, and work out the large wounds in a private companioned way.